Can't decide what I'm feeling

For the past few days, including today, I've been sorta down and not feeling very cheerful. I know I should be feeling happy and excited (and a part of me is), but on the whole, I've felt kinda lost and somewhat depressed.

I haven't mentioned this here yet, but I'm heading to the Netherlands in a few days and it should be a huge excitement and happy moment. In a way, it is, and I am really excited about going to a new country, seeing a completely different culture, meeting new people and living a very different life from my current one.

On the other hand, maybe the thought of embarking on such a big adventure is a little scary. I'm not scared, per se, but I suppose more worried about things like, will I have enough money to live comfortably? Will I be able to occupy myself and entertain myself? Will I be able to get along with the people there? And back at home, what should I do to keep the house safe and well-kept for the time I'm away? How do I sort out my internet subscription? Pay my monthly apartment fee?

All that, and I also have to finish a project before I leave, and with all these other thoughts in my head, I just really can't focus. And because I worry about work and money, I can't focus on arrangements before my departure. I never pack until the night before, so that's not a big problem, but I need to arrange that there's no food left in the fridge, the plants and utilities taken care of...

Aarrghh... just so many things in my head and I can't focus. I just end up wandering around the house, moving things from the dining table to the office. And from the office to the guestroom.

So tonight I decided that I had to get out and have some fun. By some twist of fate (we seem to have a psychic connection, really), Regs called at dinnertime to tell me she was stressed with all her studying and wedding arrangements. She wanted to go for a drink. "What kind of drink?" I asked. "Cocktails." she replied.

Right on.

So after dinner, I picked her up and we headed to La Bodega for some sangria and girly talk. It really did cure our respective moods and I can feel myself picking up, hopefully tomorrow I can get some more work done. Hurrah for girlfriends!