Friday, October 06, 2006

Right now another please

Another day at the office, another day to complain about Malaysian attitudes.

This in no way means that I think people of other countries behave better, but as a Malaysian I would rather complain about fellow Malaysians than have "furriners" complain bout us, man.

So here I come, merrily driving to the office, no stupid jaywalkers in my way this time - oops! I nearly rammed into another car. Shit... here comes the "sorry" wave. I'm genuinely sorry. I usually don't drive so recklessly, but it's the combination of holding a Milo packet drink in one hand and trying to take a bend with the other. Very unsafe. Please please don't try that, especially if I'm near you (my car is the nice, sultry, smoky grey "toot toot" car). You know what? Malaysians should learn to use the "sorry" wave more often, considering how many times one gets into other people's way on the road.

But here comes the main complaint. I park my car in the basement, collect my bag and laptop, open my door to step out and lo and behold! I am greeted by the not uncommon sight of three sad lumps of damp tissues on the floor right where the driver should step out. I have a friend who calls them "won-tons" because of the way they look. Eew.

Anyway, look here, the floor is not there for your rubbish okay? Why do I get the feeling that it was a woman who threw it out? Most probably took her Spritzer bottle filled with water from the office, grabbed some tissues, wet them with the "Spritzer" water and cleaned her shoes/mouth/steering wheel/bag then threw them out next to her just before she drove away, leaving me and my smoky car looking like I had done it.

So much for female unity. Thanks a lot, woman.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Malaysian Men!

The men here will be the death of all! They think the world belongs to them, oh they don't know how wrong they are.

Maybe you aren't one of them, but well, I nearly knocked one down today because of his stupidity and arrogance!

There he goes strolling across the busy street in front of my office. Does he not have two eyes? Does he not have a neck that he can turn to look for cars? Oh, apparently he does, because he used his neck to turn to me and his eyes to glare at me, the insolent girl who DARED to come so close to his precious, "i make the world a better place" body. What utter rubbish.

So after I nearly knock him down, my car has stopped in the middle of the road. I wave a "sorry" to him cuz naturally I didn't mean to give him a scare. But oh do I so regret it! He just looks at me with that stupid face and continues strolling across. This uglily tanned, fat ass dares to think that the world revolves around him? What happened to your upcoming joyous religious celebration on the 24th? Oh, right, maybe I'm not supposed to stress you out while you fast, is that it? Damn! Just pay attention on the road! And it wouldn't hurt your silly face to be polite once in a while. I hope your glaring eyes itch for the rest of the day, idiot!

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Still on the subject of maids, I was in the lift yesterday (as I am every day from Monday to Friday, what joy) and it stopped on the 6th floor. After waiting a few seconds, the person outside, who seems to have the reflexes of a jumbo jet, came strolling in and lo and behold - it was the Maid.

There I was at the back of the lift and she in front. Me hoping she wouldn't flick something else at me and she hoping I'd... I dunno, give her my car? So, like I said before, my office is on the 7th floor and I thought, okay it's only one floor, nothing will happen. And just before the lift door opens I hear... a fart? a burp? an internal clearing of the throat? I'm holding my breath whichever one.

She has definitely left a lasting impression on yours truly. Now I know I can always expect something from her. What a great thing it is to have some consistency in life, isn't it?