Chinese -> (not quite) English

I was clearing out the office a few days ago and found bits and bobs of rubbish that I hadn't thrown away cuz I meant to do something with them. In the interest of a neat and tidy workplace, I'm gonna attempt to clear all these things.

One such bob is the leaflet for Tang Long Imperial Wine which I've been meaning to post on this blog for ages because of its lovely translation from Chinese to English. They picked a few people to give testimonials on the benefits of the drink. They were obviously given in Chinese, and the English translator is obviously a doofus.

Here are a few of them:

Hooi Poh Sim
One year ago, I was having Lymph cancer (over for tea?). After the operation, the condition is become well, but due to long term take medicine, I always feel asleep and do not have appetite to eat and tire (mmm, I feel like eating tire today). On December 2003, my health condition is become after consuming Tang Long Imperial (become what?! what?! I'm in suspense!). My body would not feel tire easily and my appetite is improving a lot...

Leang Shee Meng
When I was setting the grill and always feel backache and cold. (feels like I walked in on a conversation halfway through) It was because I did not take care well when I was young and just took painkiller when I feel aching. Luckily, after medical hall introduced to drink Tang Long Imperial, I consumed one small cup before I sleep. I feel my backache problem is lesser and body would not feel so cold. My hand and feet muscle is become more active (here come the jitters!). I would like to thank you Tang Long Imperial have brought me so much health improvement.

Tay Yong
I am an old woman aged eighty something (and they stated everyone's exact age next to their testimonials). Due to aging problem (so how do we solve it?), I have been suffering from diabetes and high blood pressure for 10 years plus (I say only getting them when you're 70 years old is pretty damn great). But since my friend introduced me to drink Tang Long Imperial, I feel different in term of my health problem is improving a lot and diabetes level is not increasing and my backache problem is lesser and I am so touching about the health improvement. (take a well-deserved breath, old girl!)

Wee Yin Hua (this is my favourite)
My body is weak all the while and my digest system is not so good, as well as can't sleep well, I have been suffered for these problems for about 30 years. On August 2003, I knew Tang Long Imperial from radio station, so I tried bought Tang Long Imperial to drink for sometimes, I feel it really help to improve my health problem. I drink Tang Long on morning and night time after dinner (and in the evening, and underneath the moon), then I will fast asleep and my stomach air is lesser and more comfortable. I would not having unsleeping (??) problem since I have been taking Tang Long Imperial for 6 bottle (alcoholic?) and I fell more energetic on my work.

Hope you had a good chuckle.

Revenge

Some of you may know that I've been suffering for a couple of months now with my downstairs neighbours loud music-playing, banging and karaoke-singing/yelling. Most mornings I wake up to bass beats through my floor, making the bed vibrate. Most days, I call the management office to tell them to shut up. Most times, it works. For an hour.

I have been damning them to hell for a few weeks now but it doesn't seem to have worked. And as I write this, they are laughing and talking loudly at their balcony for all the world to hear.

So I have been trying to think of revenge tactics, but none that I can do that can make them as annoyed as I am by them. The best thing would be to have them kicked out of the apartment, but how do you do that? The management office says there are a few of them living there, Indonesian students, apparently, renting. There are no bloody colleges in this area, why do they live here?

Tonight I went online in search of 'neighbour revenge tactics' and found a few funny and also malicious ones, none of which would really stop their music-playing. But then I stumbled upon a discussion which really grabbed my attention and made me read to the end.

Ideas for dirty deeds to annoy an ex-neighbour

I would recommend reading that even if it is a bit lengthy. I think Timstone might, since he loves reading :)

It starts out with revenge tactics, but it then becomes a debate between the "why do you need revenge?" people and the "they deserve it" people. honestly, the people on the first team really mustn't have had any bad neighbours before. plus, it really irks me when people post arguments on a thread which is about something else. If you have a problem with revenge tactics, STOP READING! And don't even bother posting, will you?

Anyway, it really becomes an interesting debate, because the person who posted the problem - although insulted by the opposing team - still explains rationally and maturely without getting angry as most people would do.

Still hasn't helped me with the neighbour problem, but it gave me a really entertaining read for half an hour though.

Why hangovers are good for you

No, not because it shows you had a great time the night before. Besides, once you wake up with a hangover, you're virtually dreading the next time you go out drinking. Well, almost.

No, what I realised is that when I've drunk a lot and need to rest till past noon, I also tend to go to bed earlier that night. And then it becomes a habit. So I start waking up earlier as well, and feel fresher and nicer cuz I've had enough rest at proper times.

I was doing that for about 2 weeks until last week when I started sleeping late again. And couldn't stop. These days I feel tired and sleepy and lazy.

I really need to get a hangover soon.

J'adore Nuages Du Monde! Je l'adore! Woohoo!

I don't know why it's taken me so bloody long to blog about this, but I FINALLY HAVE NUAGES DU MONDE! This is Delerium's latest album - okay, I say latest, but it was actually released in 2006, and I didn't know about it because none of the music shops here brought it in!!! Anger and resentment.

Incidentally, the smart-ass joker at Rock Corner sucks. It'll take too long for me to explain what he did, but basically, he thinks he's smart, and he bloody well is NOT.

Anyway, searched online, but all the US sites didn't accept Malaysian credit cards, and the UK shops were too expensive. So I asked lovely G's help to use his credit card. In the end he bought it from a UK site cuz he didn't wanna use his CC on a "dodgy US website".

Waited, waited, waited... and he finally got it a few days ago! He ripped the CD and sent it to me.. been listening every day since. And it's awesome awesome awesome!

It's actually playing here now, in case you're wondering why there's music playing. TURN UP YOUR SPEAKERS! All the music is from Nuages Du Monde, except for Satellite Girl, which is by Conjure One, my second favourite musicians. Hmm, this song is also causing me a lot of angst as I can't find it anywhere to download or purchase. So the only time I can listen to it is if I visit my blog. Which isn't such a bad thing, I guess.

Cream of the crop: Tectonic Shift (seriously lovin' this track as it's like an 'advanced' Delerium - if possible) and Apparition (which is on the blog playlist - scroll to the bottom to select it).

Beijing Olympics opening ceremony

It was AMAZING! AMAZING! You really can't beat the Chinese when it comes to organising mass performances with thousands of participants, can you? The ceremony was so awesome and planned so well. I really don't know what other superlative to use before it gets repetitive :P

My favourite part was the tai ji quan performance, but that was just because I love seeing those kind of things - body movement and control. But otherwise, I'd say all the performances were on par with each other - excellent!

I don't know if they'll repeat it anymore, as they've done so twice that I know of. Unfortunately I've not subscribed to the sports package on Astro so I can only hear audio (when I press the 'R' button), and there's not much use in that. Gotta run over to dad's to watch if I want to.

I am so DEFINITELY going to watch the closing ceremony!

Alexis @ Ampang

It's been a few years since I last went to Alexis in Great Eastern Mall, but it doesn't seem to have changed. Still has a great vibe, and everything looks as it was. I just love the interior of the place.

Last night, I went there for drinks with Sookie. It was a Thursday night and there weren't many people there, but enough to make it cosy. I felt chocolate-cakey (since that night at Duck King when I chose to have gui ling gao instead of chocolate cake) so I had a look at their selection. Most places only have 1 or 2 chocolate selections, but this place is great! It had chocolate mousse, chocolate cinnamon, chocolate brownie, chocolate something else and 1 or 2 more. Yum!

In the end, I chose the chocolate cinnamon cake with ice cream and I wasn't disappointed. It was so so so yummy! I really recommend that if you like chocolate cakes. It tastes like flourless chocolate cake with a hint of cinnamon.

Well, that's all I wanted to say. Just go try their chocolate cinnamon. It's RM14, which is an obscene amount for cake, but really good, nevertheless.

Oh, and one more thing. If you go on a weeknight ie. Sunday-Thursday, don't park in the basement if you're going to stay past midnight. Sookie and I (in one car) drove past the open boomgate happily thinking we didn't have to pay for parking, but when we reached the exit, the roller shutter was down! We drove all round the carpark looking for the alternative exit, but there wasn't one. Then we drove to the security room whose lights were on, but there was no one inside. Typical!

So we had to park the car in front of the shutter and walk up again looking for a guard, whom we eventually found Starbucks-ing with his co-worker. And he got the shutter open for us. But what a hassle! Just park outside lah. Don't have to pay for parking either.

I'm a queen bed

Have any of you seen this Swedish Furniture Name Generator before? It's hilarious! Click the picture below to try it out and do us all a favour by coming back to leave a comment on what your name is!

Just say No

So this week I've had a little more free time than I've had for the past few months, and I got a little worried: "Will I have enough money to eat? Is this the end of Goodputty?" :)

So I decided to post my profile on more creative databases online. I've had a profile on coroflot since I was a uni student and I get one or two offers of work a year from it. I figured this creative database thingy should be helpful during lulls in workload.

I found two listed in a reputable magazine and joined up. The part I hate most about these sites is that I have to upload my portfolio. So I end up just uploading 4 or 5 pieces of work. This probably doesn't really help, but when I find a project I'm interested in I'll just refer the buyer to my website.

Truth be told, I think most buyers prefer to work with people from the same country, ie. US, cuz, well, you don't know what these unscrupulous and untrustworthy Asians might do. That's how I lost out on one of the projects I was quite interested in. Our prices were pretty close to each other (and I'm not gonna accept that the other designer's work is better as a reason :P), but the designer was from US, as was the buyer.

Anyway, to the main point of the post. I bid on another project a few days ago, and I got a reply asking for a mockup. Now this put me in a dilemma. I did want the project, but I don't do mockups if I'm not guaranteed a project. This is like pitching, something ad agencies love to do, but which I hate. But then, ad agencies spend RM5000 on a pitch, for a chance to win a RM500,000 account, so, well, they're entitled to do it. And they do get paid for pitches sometimes.

Sending pre-contract mockups aka spec work (defined as producing a piece for a potential client with no guarantee that your work will be chosen and/or paid for - No!Spec) is not something that I've just decided against out of whim or arrogance. It's an actual issue that affects the design industry and undermines its value.

Facts are: I see a project I'm interested in, I contact the buyer detailing how I can benefit him with my work. He replies and asks me to do some work before he can decide if he will pay me. What a raw deal! Imagine that he has 10 designers sending him mockups. He has at least 10 designs to choose from, all for free. Most of them will also be of a quality good enough to send for final print. He has an idea - just take that, send it to the printer, and print. No charge to him at all.

It sounds fair for someone to know what your ideas are. But you have to be adequately compensated for it. Do you go to a restaurant and ask to sample each dish before you decide what you want to eat? No, you look at words or you look at pictures on the menu. In the same way, I ask potential clients to look at my portfolio to see the quality and style of my work before I do anything at all for them. Time is money, and I value my time and expertise too much to give away for free.

Stuff. And money!

Went to New Zealand Natural in The Curve a couple of weeks ago to get chocolate ice cream with chocolate sprinkles. That's my standard order at every ice cream shop I visit. And New Zealand Natural's chocolate ice cream (Chocolate Ecstasy, or that brownie flavoured one) is really awesome.

But, dammit! They don't serve choc sprinkles anymore! How disappointing is that?

(I still bought - and enjoyed - the choc ice cream plain anyway)

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I just heard... an English paper ran an article on those exclusive London nightclubs and how much people spend there. They also printed a copy of a receipt which contained orders of Cristal champagne - 49 bottles and 6 magnums - among others!

The bill for all that - ONE bill, mind you - was £26728.33 and the tip was £2969.

...course a few quid from there would be used to clean up the champagne spray-filled walls, but who bloody cares?

Who wants to own an exclusive London nightclub put up their hands.

I love Borders

Went to Borders yesterday to look for a corner cutter, but they didn't sell them. So I just started browsing through some books to pass the time. I stayed away from the Basheer section cuz I knew I didn't have any money to get anything but would be sorely tempted to anyway.

Now I usually don't browse much in bookstores other than Times cuz I have their membership card and I get a discount every time I purchase something. Besides which, at the end of every year, they send me a whole list of what books I've bought from them so I can send it in to the LHDN (it is the LHDN, right?). Which is why I didn't pay much attention to the majority of books in Borders, but headed straight to the BARGAIN section.

Woohoo, I love a bargain, don't you?

Anyway, I'm so pleased... I walked out of there with 3 books which only cost me RM60! Two as presents for my lil sis and cousin, and one dog book for myself...mmmmm...

The Green Fairy

"The first stage is like ordinary drinking, the second when you begin to see monstrous and cruel things, but if you can persevere you will enter in upon the third stage where you see things that you want to see, wonderful curious things." "Absinthe has a wonderful colour, green. A glass of absinthe is as poetical as anything in the world. What difference is there between a glass of absinthe and a sunset?" - Oscar Wilde

After reading that, who wouldn't be even slightly curious as to what this green fairy does to your mind? How about this?

"Let me be mad, mad with the madness of Absinthe, the wildest, most luxurious madness in the world." - Marie Corelli

According to Fairies World, the appeal of Absinthe to the creative person (I say creative because they were the only ones to write about it) is the contradiction of its properties and what it does to the mind. It contains a formidable amount of alcohol which is a depressant, but also contains herbal subtances which stimulate the brain keeping it clear and aware of thoughts going through it.

This line from the article sums it up perfectly:

Alcohol relaxes inhibitions and invites in new ideas, and the stimulants allow you to logically process the new data.

Hey, if Wilde and Toulouse-Lautrec were fans of it, look at their work and tell me you're not tempted to fall in love with the fairy? Oh, make sure you have someone with you though, or you might wake up one morning, not with a hangover or an ugly creature in bed, but with one less ear.

To Tim

I finally dropped by your blog today and am so honoured and touched that this blog, my website and my side project are all linked from yours :P Many thanks, mate.

I liked your post on the sexy dance contest, by the way. Made me chuckle out loud.

Malaysia, a developed country?

I didn't realise it'd been so long since I last posted till Mumsy Bumsy pointed it out. I've had lots of things on my mind, but not ones that I particularly wanted to talk about on this blog.

I wish restaurants/bars/clubs/pubs would ban smoking indoors. I know lots of you out there are gasping in shock and disgust, but it's such a bad habit, and smoking does not only affect you, but non-smokers. I know you've all heard this a million times, but doesn't this phrase then come to mind - "truth prevails"?

If Malaysia is so keen to be modernised, advanced and considered a developed country, why not follow their good examples? The UK and Australia have already enforced a ban on smoking indoors, even in pubs (UK). I'm not very clear on Australian rules or how it's like in America, but I know for sure that smoking is banned virtually everywhere indoors in the UK. And that's a great thing. How many smokers are killing non-smokers slowly? This is not like drinking alcohol, where it only affects the drinker. Smoking affects EVERYONE.

Why am I so upset about this? Because every time I go out to party or to have fun, I come home coughing, my clothes stink and I feel so unwell. Out of the 7 months that have passed this year, I have NOT COUGHED for 2 months.

Do I have to make myself sick in order to have fun with my friends?

Great night out at Aliyaa

A few of us went for dinner at Mama's Kitchen in TTDI last night. Since Zlynn had just come back from 6 months in London, we thought she should have some good ol' local Chinese coffee shop food. I guess the food was okay, but I can't say that the so-called famous loh shee fun lived up to its name.

Chia was so dressed and ready to club last night! Poor him had been deceived, as we'd only planned to do a bar night. After a brief session at some old fart place in Plaza TTDI (where we watched some wrestling... yes, it was that kind of old buggery place), we shipped off to Aliyaa in Damansara Heights. This was more like it!

Eager to shake the dust off my feet, the three of us who were there earliest sat down for some wine while waiting for the others to arrive. Friends kept trickling in and it was so great to be able to actually sit and talk with these people who I'm usually shouting nonsense at on Saturday nights. Took some wacky photos (which I don't have... yet) and wined all night. All in all, just a great session in a very nice place.

Looking forward to tonight! :P

Knowing your limits hurts

All of a sudden, I feel really depressed. The day started out fine, with me turning my Mac on and starting work with a nice cup of tea. Then I got a call from Slavedriver, saying that one of my clients wants to see me because I sent her a brochure that I was apparently supposed to redesign, but which looks like the old one. I got confused and called her directly to ask her what she meant. It was just a misunderstanding, and we worked it out in the end. Still have to see her tomorrow morning, but to sort out other work.

That episode kind of shocked my system a little, as clients don't usually have problems with my work.

Then in the afternoon, I got a reply from another potential client about a website design. She'd emailed me for a quote last month, and then didn't reply, so I followed up last week, asking what the situation was. Today she replied saying that her friend loved my fee but was looking for stronger, more conceptual designs that's specific and unique to her start-up company, instead of general designs like what I have done so far. She was very friendly about it, and I thanked her for coming back to me.

However, I'm getting depressed. I just took a look at my web portfolio and started to feel quite down. One of the reasons I don't create very conceptual website designs is that I don't have the skill to produce on web what I can do in print. I am, after all, a graphic designer, not a web designer. My forte is print. Although most people are happy with the website designs I create for them because I tell them in advance what they should expect.

Of course that lady had the right to look elsewhere for more advanced web design skills, but I guess it's the rejection and realisation of my limits that hurts.

I thought I'd done quite okay so far. But I guess this jolted me and made my pedestal shake a bit, nearly throwing me off. In fact, I think I have been thrown off. Now I'm just trying to hang on and climb back up again :(

Goodputty::Paperie

My studio has just started a side project called Goodputty::Paperie. You can order customisable stationery, cards or invites there. It's still being developed, so prices will be on a case-by-case basis until the kinks are worked out.



Do give your support and visit the site to order a little something for yourself or your friends :D

PHOTOS: Being a KLite

I don't often drive to town at night, especially at dinnertime, unless G is here. But tonight happened to be Teng's birthday dinner at Olé Cafe on Changkat Bukit Bintang. Please don't go there. Crap service, crap food. Nuff said.

Anyway, I was kinda lazy to drive so decided to take the Smart Tunnel. Nice and easy drive. Until I reached the exit. Wow, what a jam! I guess I shoulda known, but it's been so long since I've actually driven to town at dinnertime that I didn't know it had become such a bad place for traffic. What with all the new highways, byways and flyways, it should have improved!


View from my car waiting for the traffic lights.

I love hanging out with my friends but boy, am I doing a lot of second hand smoking! And a perfectly good top was ruined because it smelt so smoky. Damn. If restaurants allow smoking inside, they should have better ventilation. I'm not a fan of Singapore, but they do have the no smoking in public rule down pat. Very good.

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Another joy of living in KL is the art scene that's getting more exposure. Sometimes I don't know if some of them are just wannabes or if they're genuine. Nevertheless, like theatre, you start to see the same faces everywhere. I think the problem is that these artsy people think they're so unique and special that they want to keep their own clique to themselves, but at the same time, want to bring the KL art scene to another level. Maybe if they stopped being so cliquey it'd help.

Art and design markets like the Lapsap/Kraftgrafik Junkyard Sales and other marts hosted by Kraftgrafik are great, but you tend to see the same sellers at each one and the prices are not very buyer-friendly. Artists (I believe) are, by nature, quite stingy. We don't have a lot of money, and oftentimes we look at something and think to ourselves: "I could do/make that", which is usually true - and so we end up not buying anything unless the seller is a friend, or the price is really low. Artists love buying crap for low prices: "Oh, I could use this to bohemia-fy/junk up my home".


Melissa and bride-to-Bea having a discussion at Palate Palette.


The other half of Melissa and Kraftgrafik - Aaron.

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G and I took a road trip up to Scotland this March and marked a few places to stopover. One of them was Glasgow. Before we went, everyone was telling us about what a rough place it was and how rundown and ghetto it would be. When we got there, I was pretty impressed. Money had been poured into the city and it was almost as beautiful as Edinburgh... okay, I exaggerate. Edinburgh is awesome. But Glasgow is really excellent as well. The nightlife, restaurants, cafes... very sophisticated yet welcoming. It was somewhat like Melbourne and London put together.


G at Mamasan.

The restaurants near our hotel - Novotel, which incidentally is a really good hotel! - were really cool because they were located in either the basements or ground levels of 5-storey buildings lining the street going downhill. The menus would be on the pavement and you could just walk up and down or across the street looking for something interesting. It was cool!

We finally picked a place called Mamasan which serves Asian food. I won't say much more about the place because G wants to keep it secret. But I just have to say the atmosphere was amazing, the waiters were all hunky, capable and efficient, and the food was the best of all.

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Okay, so I have been jumping about from topic to topic in this post. Could you tell I did it to clear the photos in my phone? :D

It's what time?

Okay, honestly, it's already nearly 10am now so I shouldn't call this early. However, I DID wake up at 8.15am today because I had to deliver a document to a client by 9am. Thank God for Daddy's driver.

It was so very hectic yesterday because the client only gave me ONE day to amend a 24-page newsletter AND print a mockup. I told her I would give it to her on Thursday, she says okay, then emails to say that she's on leave Thursday, so can I give it to her on Wednesday? What the...? But because I'd messed something up in the first draft, I felt obligated to do better this round.

And I achieved it!

Not without lots of panicking, rushing around to the other studio with the big A3 printer, then finding out that Mac didn't have the fonts I was using, so I had to call poor Mumsy Bumsy to go over to mine and teach her how to find the things I needed and email them over. I finished just in the nick of time because I also had to go to Actor's Studio Bangsar to watch Sybil, which, incidentally, is a very good production. The two lead actors for Sybil and Yoshimura were brilliant.

Was a bit skeptical about watching "100 minutes of relentless torture", but it turned out alright (although I did wish the story would move on after about 60 minutes).

Loving the Chronicles of Narnia Part 1 soundtrack, by the way... need to get Prince Caspian next time I go to Victoria.

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On another note, last weekend I had planned to launch Operation Tidy Up at home, but it didn't work out. Can't remember why. I've already taken some "before" pictures, but the "after" scenario isn't quite ready yet (an understatement if there ever was one). Let's aim for this weekend.

And I fell down again at BarClub last Saturday. It's starting to be a very embarrassing trademark of mine.

Post #300!

To honour this momentous occasion of my 300th post, here's a picture that reveals something about myself.



G took a picture of this picture (heh) from the newspaper about a little piglet who absolutely refused to walk in the mud! And so the farmer had to make little piggylet booties for it, and wearing them, the piggylet's happily romping around in the mud now! How amazing is that?

Yup, I'm a piggy zodiac sign and I hate getting my feet dirty.

Nothing to write so...