50 things to do before you die

I read somewhere that we all just can't resist a good ol' list. So we keep reading them and we keep making them and we keep failing to complete them.

Well, Mike Sowden of Fevered Mutterings wrote a list some time ago that I think we could all complete and be proud of it. Somewhat.

I found the list so inspiring that I had to make an easy-to-tick-off poster. Enjoy!

Click on it to view a larger version. Enjoy!

Christmas Shopping Day. Robinson's +1, Jusco -10.

So today was our scheduled Christmas Shopping Day.

Schrobbenmaster couldn't come out with us yet again because he's still recovering from his flu. The poor guy is spending the last few days of his holiday in bed. Sigh.

Anyway, Yelleh Belleh and I headed to Robinson's in The Gardens for our shopping. We knew what Mumsy Bumsy had asked for so we headed straight to that department. Holy moley, that item is pricey! But we did receive an RM20 voucher to spend in the same department. What a good decision then, to get similar items from the same department for other people.

Talking about receiving vouchers as a reward for spending a certain amount of money...

One of the things that irritates me about Malaysia are the measly, pathetic excuses for rewards and rebates they have.

"Spend RM300 with your credit card and get an RM10 Coffee Bean voucher!"

Just tell me, won't you, what exactly you can buy with RM10 at Coffee Bean? A small cup of orange juice is what I think.

So if you spend RM900, you get an RM30 Coffee Bean voucher. OMG. You know what? Keep your lame vouchers. As much as I like free things and things that are value for money, this is just insulting.

Another one I saw a few years back:

"Buy 2 Absolut Vodkas and receive RM5 off!"

RM freaking FIVE.
Off bottles which cost RM200 each.

Keep your RM freaking five and leave me my dignity, thanks.

ANYWAY.

Yelleh Belleh and I managed to get everything we needed, and the two shop assistants at Robinson's were so helpful and patient with us. Robinson's really knows how to train their staff, I can say that for sure.

As opposed to Jusco.
Ugh.

We couldn't find some of the cheaper items in Robinson's so we knew Jusco would be a good bet. Sure enough, we found what we were looking for, but not without some heartache from lazy Jusco staff.

Imagine:
We want to find out if there is more stock of a certain item, so we approach the nearest shop assistant. He says (with a smile, at least) that he doesn't know that section, but the woman in charge should be "over there". Okay, after Robinson's, this service just doesn't cut it. Just look for the woman and bring us to her or vice versa lah. We had to wander off in the general direction of his pointing finger and hope to find that woman.

She turned out to be alright, quite enthusiastic but also unable to help with stock enquiries. So we gave up and chose another design instead.

The cashier was really the one who irritated me. She was talking to a customer in front of me, and after waiting behind him for a bit, I realised that she was actually really just talking to him and not serving him. He was just some other staff member who was discussing an item. I had already looked for the Closed Counter sign, but it wasn't anywhere to be seen, so was I to know that she wasn't serving him as a customer? Could she not see me standing behind him with my items to be purchased? It would have been easy to just point me round to the counter behind her who was really serving customers.

Inefficient, blinkered staff.

But the funniest (in a not-so-funny way) was when we went down the escalator and turned the corner to the next escalator, and nearly bumped into a short Malay shop assistant standing right at the edge of the escalator, staring into space. Yelleh Belleh gave her three huge: "EXCUSE ME"s. But the light never came into her eyes. Even when, going down, I turned back to look at her.

Ah, Jusco. Always good for low blood pressure.

Robinson's, you're the best.

My family say the darndest things

People who are excellent in English make the funniest mistakes sometimes.

To recall some from the top of my head...

Mumsy Bumsy, when advising on how to get a cab into town on a Friday night, when no cab company wanted to pick up my call:

"You should walk up the road towards my condo, there are usually taxis who conglomerate there."

And, while Schrobbenmaster's first language isn't English, he is pretty darn better than most Malaysians. And yet...

"Even when it's cold outside, wearing so many layers makes me transpire."

"We have something like Halloween here as well. During Sint Maarten, kids go around people's houses carrying lampoons and asking for candy."

Yelleh Belleh has countless, but omigosh, I can't think of any right now. What was that about the baked beans not being beans?

If anyone else remember Yelleh Belleh's precious moments, I thank you very much if you would leave them in the comments section :D

Till then, I shall leave you with a poster which makes me miss Malaysia. Even though I haven't been to one in ages.

Garage sale sex change

Last week, Moeder Irma had asked Schrobbenmaster to fix up a poster of a garage sale for her and her friend. Schrobbenmaster looked at her effort and decided that he could do better, so he set to work. After he'd done, I put in my two cents worth as well, telling him that the poster would look friendlier and more neighbourhood-y if he inserted a graphic/clipart.

We scoured the net for garage sale graphics and finally found a good one. Only that it was a man, and our garage sale was organised by two women.

So we decided to *ahem* give him a sex change for free.

When I saw Moeder Irma last weekend, she told us that she liked our poster with the woman graphic on it.

*snigger*

Gotta love Photoshop!

CNY in Penang (and some Engrish)

Back in KL and lovin' it!

These days I get stressed so much more easily, cuz I keep thinking I've got loads to do - which I do - and it's so difficult to organise things, with errands to run, bills to pay, things to pack, things to give away, friends to say goodbye to... bleh.

Today is another public holiday for Chinese New Year and at first I was pretty pissed off about it because it means that my MacBook Pro will take another day to come back to me, also that I can't run some of my errands as places will be closed and people will also not be working.

Then I woke up this morning and realised, oh well, if people aren't working, then I can't do anything either, so I may as well forget about the errands for one more day and not stress out about completing things today. It's called Zen. And I need loads of it!

Anyway, I spent CNY in Penang last week, staying at my grandmother's place. It was nice to be there, eating good food and spending lots of time with the family. No extended family (thank goodness?) as my dad's family only consists of him and his sister.

Upon arriving in Penang, we drove straight to the Pulau Tikus market to have dinner. Although almost all the tables were occupied, I realised suddenly that it was strangely very quiet. It's not often a hawker stall area is quiet and peaceful, but it really was. It was kinda surreal.

Although I ALWAYS have Wan Tan Mee in Penang because it's so different and so much nicer than everywhere else (with the exception of Hong Kong style, which is nice too, and the stall near my house which is awesome), when I sat down next to this Prawn Mee stall, temptation overcame and I ordered that instead. And ordered Wan Tan Mee after.

EVERYONE orders more than one dish to eat in Penang! It's like a requirement because everything is so tasty!

Driving back home, I snapped a photo of this old-school shop. According to the signboard above, it's a tailor or sewing shop. Penang is full of these old-school shopfronts. So quaint.

The next day we headed to Prangin Mall because Yelleh Belleh had 4 tickets to watch any movie at Cathay Cineplexes. Because we had our younger sisters with us, we had to choose something kid-friendly, so we picked Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief. It was okay. I get a bit fussier about movies and storylines as I get older, and in this show, I was annoyed that they didn't show the girl playing a bigger part in it, as she was supposedly the offspring of Athena, goddess of wisdom and war strategy. And yet, all the wisdom and war strategy came from Percy Jackson, of course. She was just there to take up oxygen in the film.

Walking around before the movie, I spotted some lovely Engrish food banners. I always stop at these banners because I'm bound to be rewarded with gems like 'Chicken Gordon Brew'.

And fretting prawns.

For dinner, naturally, another hawker food court. The food here was really yummy (sorry, I can't remember where it is, but it's near the Tanjung Bungah side of the island since we live there). The Wan Tan Mee was splendid! I also notice many more foreigners in Penang these days. And not tourists, as in, people who make Penang their retirement home. I guess many westerners like the old world charm of Penang. A bit too old-fashioned and chaotic for my taste to make it a permanent home, though.

On the first day of CNY (which was also Valentine's Day this year), we always visit my grandfather's memorial place in the Buddhist assocation/temple/place. My grandfather's plaque is circled in red. Next to his picture is a red piece of paper covering my grandmother's side of the plaque when she eventually goes to join him *sniff*. On the right of his plaque is my grandmother's mother, and on her right, is my grandfather's mother.

What we do when we go to see them is to get joss sticks, light them, pray in front of the plaques then stick the joss sticks into a big bowl with everyone else's. Then we sit for a bit at the few tables provided and eat free mandarin oranges, ground nuts and sweets that were donated to the Buddhist nuns (no monks here) or that they bought with money donated. We also donate money before indulging in this stuff.

This golden statue of Buddha is located in front of the ancestor hall.

This is where people pray. There are tiles of Buddha plastered all over the walls.

Yelleh Belleh looking cautiously at me, since I'm known to love taking quirky (read: weird) photos of people. Above her on the wall behind are all the Buddha tiles.

Because it's the first day of CNY (there are two main days, and fifteen days in total), most of Penang is shut. The majority of Penangites are Chinese after all. We were almost heading to a fast food restaurant when we came across this vegetarian restaurant. Vegetarianism is big amongst Buddhists, so I guess that's why the few Chinese eateries that are open would be vegetarian. This is my plate with tofu, egg and beancurd roll.

Vegetarian food is not cheap! Yelleh Belleh decided to have potatoes and curry 'chicken' with hers.

And now I'm back in KL :P

Last night I went to my other grandmother's house for the reunion dinner on my mother's side. Received lots of angpaus (always a nice thing), and after the dinner I met up with an old schoolmate, Fahmi. He's leaving for Lisbon in a few days for a performance residency. How arty!

And tonight is my farewell dinner hosted by Mumsy Bumsy for her relatives to say goodbye and good luck to me. But first, Sookie's open house this afternoon!

Busy, busy, it's no wonder I'm stressed about finishing things up here.

More Engrish!

I went to dinner last weekend to the Grand Imperial in USJ. It's in a brand new mall called the USJ 19 City Mall or something like that. The whole building interior wasn't even completed yet, but as usual, to minimise losses and to maximise profit, the grand Chinese restaurant has opened its doors at the very earliest possible.

The dinner itself was alright, the food was tasty enough. But, again, as usual, the normal servers were foreigners who don't speak any English/Cantonese. And that is really one of the basics you have to speak in KL. It's starting to really annoy me, not being able to communicate what I want in a restaurant/cafe/eating place.

Anyway, as we were leaving the place, we caught sight of the promotion banner outside. And, yes, as usual, there was a good example of Engrish on it.

Sorry for the dodgy arrow... some people don't have Wacom Intuos 4 tablets like some others do.

So, Monzalera Cheese... I'm assuming is Mozarella... or is it Mozzarela? Or Mozzarella? It sure as heck ain't Monzalera! Heehee.

Really fake real real fake real flowers

I just got back from IKEA with Mumsy Bumsy. We were looking for mundane things like shelves and small saucepans. And as always happens at IKEA - and no one is immune - we bought other things as well. I got new cooking utensils for under RM2 (my current ones are kinda destroyed) and a new toilet bowl brush. Oh, and a new purple pot for my new balcony table plant. It looks really nice!

While I was browsing the pots and plants area, I saw these pots of brightly-coloured gerberas that were quite nice. I had to lift one out of a pot in order to measure the pot, if it was big enough for my plant. I was surprised by how it felt! It was kinda rubbery and didn't feel like a plant. That's when I realised the gerberas were fake! No wonder they were so bright and thriving in that underground of an IKEA building.

Mumsy Bumsy came over a little later to take a look. I asked her if she wanted plants to place around the house and the gerberas caught her eye as well. We walked round the pots looking for one which was suitably "in bloom" and yet didn't look too artificial. While Mumsy Bumsy was admiring one of the bright red flowers, I started touching the petals of another. And was amazed by how real it felt. I was really impressed by the attention to detail and the materials they must have used to make the petals. The leaves were a little rubbery, but the rest of the plant was really well done!

Mumsy Bumsy finally chose a plant, picked it up and looked at the label, then said, "Why does it say it needs direct sunlight?". I thought for a bit and replied, "Maybe it's so it looks real.". There was a pause. And Mumsy Bumsy goes, "These plants are real LAH!".

Egads, there I was, marvelling at how real the flowers felt, and actually stroking it and peering closely trying to see what material they made it out of, when the whole time, it was true Mother Nature!

Teriyaki Trial

Quote of the week:
Embrace those who love you
And whom you love,
And rid yourself of those
Who will only bring you down.

Teriyaki chicken dinner last night didn't go too well.

Firstly, we were missing a few ingredients, one of the key ones being the rice wine. I left out ginger and chilli flakes on purpose, but those weren't too important. Then I made a big mistake! After cooking the marinade, I put the chicken in immediately, and instantly regretted it! I totally forgot that the sauce had to cool down before marinating. Great. So a few chicken pieces became half-cooked from the heat of the sauce.



Which was probably what made the chicken a bit hard when I cooked it later in the evening.

And then we found out that the rice we had was, what... 3 years old? Wasn't moldy yet, and we didn't wanna go to the supermarket again that day, so we cooked it, and while it was edible, it was also pretty dry.


My dish. Looks almost normal.


Schrobbenmaster Rik didn't wanna waste the sauce and decided to eat his dish in teriyaki soup. Not such a great idea as it turned out.

Word of the day: Hoi = Hey

READ: Ryan Runs Europe

While I was in Singapore last week, I was occasionally bored at home when there was nothing on TV. I decided to look for an interesting blog (and even if I didn't find any, I would've used up my bored time doing something, albeit useless, anyway).

On Blogger's main page, they have a Blogs of Note section, which is where I found a new blog to follow (apart from Gaijin Smash):

Ryan Runs Europe

Ryan, a long-time fan of long-distance running, has decided in the summer of 2009, to run from Amsterdam to Athens with nothing but a backpack. An architecture student from NYC, his story already sounds pretty interesting, but once I started reading his posts, I realised that he was also a really funny, honest and entertaining person. Just check out his blog, and I really guarantee you won't be stuck with nothing to do on a day you don't feel like doing anything.

Days of note (read: Days that made me giggle out loud): Day 42, Day 36

If you have to scroll down or click 'Older Posts' to view these, they're every bit worth the effort!

GOOD LUCK RYAN! If you were passing by my way, I'd definitely offer you a room for the night :)

Good morning Engrish

So I received an amusing email this morning.

I host my Goodputty Design website with a Company X (apparently will be sued for libel, so have to use Brand X... so sensitive!), and in one of their newsletters some time ago, I was attracted to and then signed up for a Blog X account owned by them, intending to migrate from here.

I ended up liking it better here, so I stayed, but my account with Blog X remained as well. Totally forgot about it till this morning, when I received an email from Company X saying that they're migrating platforms and informing me of the changes that would take place on my Blog X.

Was about to delete the email until I saw a few interesting 'Engrish' sentences, and I decided to read it for a few good morning smiles. Didn't disappoint! It slowly but surely got worse as the email went on. Here are snippets for your funny bone's pleasure.

See how many errors you can find!

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Dear Valued Blog X Users,

First of all, thank you for your continuous support over the Blog X.

---

You may encounter difficulties on accessing to your blog during the entire migration process.

We truly understand the importance of your blogs to you personally or to your business. Therefore, we will strive our best efforts in this migration process.

---

Due to both Blog X and WordPress are of two different platform, we are regret to inform you that the existing blog template is non-migratable.

---

Please be sure that your primary blog URL will remain unchanged. However, your additional blog URL will be replaced with a new URL as per example below:

---

If happen that your host name is being taken by others, an additional numeric characters will be appended at the back of the name such as

---

We apologize for any inconvenient cause during this migration. We believes that by the end of this migration, you will have a great experience on hosting your blog with Company X.

---

I counted 16 mistakes!

Actually, they are in the entire email. Oh gawd, and such kindergarten mistakes as well! One major peeve of mine in official emails is when people use "as per example" or "as per the email below"... stupid "as per"! Use it properly if you want to use it!

Day out with Maniacal Musicmaker

Met up with Maniacal Nick for lunch today at Chawan. Then went shopping at Village Grocer and he found this really weird yogurt thingy.


On one side of a decidedly ugly wrapper is a picture of food... I suppose to tell you how to use your yogurt on food. Hmm. And on the other side...


... a picture of a woman with a yogurt mask on her face. Uh, yeah... we should so get this yogurt cuz it has such multiple abilities. Gawd, it's just gross to eat from a yogurt tub that has a picture of a woman looking like that.

At another aisle, Maniacal Nick was checking out some... painkillers, I think... and in the same section was this:


Durex Play, a lubricant for intimate moments, placed between Panadol, SlimUp (shouldn't it be Slim Down instead, though?), mosquito repellent and a fever patch for kids. Yes, very good place indeed. So easy for people to find what they're looking for.

Strange things!

PHOTOS: Birthday 2009, Yassir's Birthday, Funny Dan

Not in the mood for work today so I'm diligently updating my blog. People go on living when they're not working, you know.

Here are some randoms from my party.


Uncle Henry and me.


Dunno why Sharry Berry wants to shout at me on my birthday *sniff*


Now she's feeling bad about it ;)

And some randoms from Always Wasted Yassir's







The many faces of Dan the Drinker


I really can't describe this expression.


About to throw up?


Dark, intense look a la Antonio Banderas?

Do you know him?

Did you look twice at the guy on the left??

I did! I thought "Omg, what's Daniel doing in that video?!". And although I knew it couldn't be him, I just had to really look hard at it to convince myself.

What do you think?!

PHOTOS: Penang Dec 2008

Oh, I almost forgot these pics from our family trip up to Penang to visit my grandmother.




I just love the eccentricities of Penang-ites.




"We know your taste better". Superb tagline.




On the balcony at the Pinang Peranakan Mansion, one of the heritage buildings in Penang.

Brainless copywriting

I'm sure most of you who watch TV must've heard this commercial before. Well, maybe non-Malaysians won't know it, but how many of those read my blog? :P Cue non-Malaysians clicking on 'Leave me a kiss!' to prove me wrong.

Just tell me this isn't one of the strangest and most brainless pieces of writing you've heard on TV...

"... Siapakah Alexander The Great?
Dan siapakah Zulkarnain?
Adakah mereka orang yang sama?

Saksikanlah jawapannya dalam...
Alexander Bukan Zulkarnain."

Translation:

"... Who is Alexander The Great?
And who is Zulkarnain?
Were they the same person?

Watch the answer unfold in...
Alexander Is Not Zulkarnain."

Kinda defeats the whole purpose of watching the programme.

Funny Engrish again

Chinese -> (not quite) English

I was clearing out the office a few days ago and found bits and bobs of rubbish that I hadn't thrown away cuz I meant to do something with them. In the interest of a neat and tidy workplace, I'm gonna attempt to clear all these things.

One such bob is the leaflet for Tang Long Imperial Wine which I've been meaning to post on this blog for ages because of its lovely translation from Chinese to English. They picked a few people to give testimonials on the benefits of the drink. They were obviously given in Chinese, and the English translator is obviously a doofus.

Here are a few of them:

Hooi Poh Sim
One year ago, I was having Lymph cancer (over for tea?). After the operation, the condition is become well, but due to long term take medicine, I always feel asleep and do not have appetite to eat and tire (mmm, I feel like eating tire today). On December 2003, my health condition is become after consuming Tang Long Imperial (become what?! what?! I'm in suspense!). My body would not feel tire easily and my appetite is improving a lot...

Leang Shee Meng
When I was setting the grill and always feel backache and cold. (feels like I walked in on a conversation halfway through) It was because I did not take care well when I was young and just took painkiller when I feel aching. Luckily, after medical hall introduced to drink Tang Long Imperial, I consumed one small cup before I sleep. I feel my backache problem is lesser and body would not feel so cold. My hand and feet muscle is become more active (here come the jitters!). I would like to thank you Tang Long Imperial have brought me so much health improvement.

Tay Yong
I am an old woman aged eighty something (and they stated everyone's exact age next to their testimonials). Due to aging problem (so how do we solve it?), I have been suffering from diabetes and high blood pressure for 10 years plus (I say only getting them when you're 70 years old is pretty damn great). But since my friend introduced me to drink Tang Long Imperial, I feel different in term of my health problem is improving a lot and diabetes level is not increasing and my backache problem is lesser and I am so touching about the health improvement. (take a well-deserved breath, old girl!)

Wee Yin Hua (this is my favourite)
My body is weak all the while and my digest system is not so good, as well as can't sleep well, I have been suffered for these problems for about 30 years. On August 2003, I knew Tang Long Imperial from radio station, so I tried bought Tang Long Imperial to drink for sometimes, I feel it really help to improve my health problem. I drink Tang Long on morning and night time after dinner (and in the evening, and underneath the moon), then I will fast asleep and my stomach air is lesser and more comfortable. I would not having unsleeping (??) problem since I have been taking Tang Long Imperial for 6 bottle (alcoholic?) and I fell more energetic on my work.

Hope you had a good chuckle.

I'm a queen bed

Have any of you seen this Swedish Furniture Name Generator before? It's hilarious! Click the picture below to try it out and do us all a favour by coming back to leave a comment on what your name is!

Post #300!

To honour this momentous occasion of my 300th post, here's a picture that reveals something about myself.



G took a picture of this picture (heh) from the newspaper about a little piglet who absolutely refused to walk in the mud! And so the farmer had to make little piggylet booties for it, and wearing them, the piggylet's happily romping around in the mud now! How amazing is that?

Yup, I'm a piggy zodiac sign and I hate getting my feet dirty.

Only in England?

I forgot to wish everyone Happy Leap Year yesterday!

I don't know if it was a big thing over in KL, but February 29 is the only day (traditionally) when girls get to propose to men. There were some programmes on TV here following some girls about to propose, but I didn't watch any of them. Had better things to do.

I did catch an advertisement promoting one such programme, and they had a clip of this girl going to her boyfriend's factory workplace, and she nervously said...

"Today is the day girls are allowed to propose to guys, and so I'm asking you now... will you marry me...?"
Boyfriend looking dazed (and maybe drugged), replies: "Yeah, go on."

Damn! If my boyfriend replied me in that manner I'd so totally bosh his head with a sack of potatoes (assuming I could lift one up that high).

---

Anyway, I forgot to mention a coupla days ago, that something exciting and completely new happened to me and G. We were in an earthquake!!

Might have been in the news all the way in Malaysia, but probably not. It was a Monday or Tuesday night, and G and I were in the room watching a DVD on his computer when we felt slight swaying and we looked at each other with eyes wide open... the swaying got stronger, but not worryingly. This continued for about 5 or 6 seconds and it slowed down again. I was like, "What was that?!!" And G insisted it was a poltergeist under our beds. Sheesh.

The next day, the earthquake was on the news, and our little town was actually mentioned! The epicentre was actually quite far away in Lincolnshire, but the newsreader said that it was the largest earthquake in Britain for 25 years. No fatalities, but a 19 year old was sleeping in his bed when his chimney fell on his arm and he had to be taken to the hospital. Several houses had sustained large cracks in the walls and roof tiles falling apart. And here's where we were mentioned: "In M.D., a chimney fell on the High Street."

How exciting!

In The Sun yesterday, which is a real tabloid of a newspaper, equivalent to Malay Mail in KL, they had a short story accompanied by a huge photo... of a teenage couple quite near the epicentre of the quake, who had been doing "intimate things" when the earthquake happened. They told the paper that they didn't realise it was an earthquake but thought it was their lovemaking causing the shakes. Excuse me while I roll my eyes. Apparently they asked each other:

"Did the earth move for you, darling?"

Oh oh, I think my eyes are stuck in the back of my head now.